Phoenix Rising

Thankful...

- That I know God.

- That he knows ME.

- Life, health, and strength.

- For my child (a lil cheryl pepsii riley for y'all new jacks)

- The love in my life.

- That I say what I mean and mean what I say.

- My actions match my words.

- Beauty and brains can exist peacefully!

- That I raised my child, finished schooling, and launched a career...without sacrificing the child.

- My youngest brother is college-bound in the fall. One more girl to go.

- For ANTM, Charm School, and Flava Flav

- Reaching 30 with a peace that truly surpasses all understanding.

- Jennifer Hudson on Vogue

- Oprah

- Harry Potter in less that 4 months

- A real circle of friends, so that if my car dies on the highway I actually have someone to call that will get there before Triple A.

- Obtaining my piece of the American Dream

- Occassionally blurting my thoughts on my blog...

Better Late Than Never!

1) Was 2006 a good year for you?
Everything was a go after June!

2) What was/were your favorite moment(s) of the year?
Disneyworld!

Passing the English MTEL

Graduating Summa Cum Laude!!

My first day as a teacher.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Indecision about career choices

4) Where were you when 2006 began?
I think I was at home?

5) Who were you with?
Err, umm, my son? hell i can barely remember last week!

6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Feasting with lovers, family and friends.

7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
Lovers, family and friends

8) Did you keep your New Years resolution of 2006?
again, another thing I can't remember.

9) Do you have a New Years resolution for 2007?
not going there this year

10) Did you fall in love in 2006?
I fell back in love.

11) If yes, with who?
cuddlebunny

12) If yes, do they know?
of course, cuz he loves me back.

13) Are you still in love with them?
sho nuff... like mary j. says "we ride, we ride!"

14) You regret it?
nope.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2006?                                                                                                                            yes

16) Did you make any new friends in 2006?
Yes

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
smart women i work with

18) What was your favorite month of 2006?
march

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2006?
yes

20) How many different states have you traveled to in 2006?
ohio, new york, new hampshire, florida

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
no, thank GOD

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yes, but i remedied that

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006?
happy feet!

24) What was your favorite song from 2006?
take me as i am - mjb



25) What was your favorite album from 2006?
the breakthrough - mjb

26) How many concerts did you see in 2006?
none

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2006?
nope

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006?
of course

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?
only the legal ones

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2006?

2

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
probably

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2006?
do omissions and white lies count?

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2006?
Yes, i like being with you.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006?
No

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2006?
yup

36) How much money did you spend in 2006?
too damn much

37) What was your proudest moment of 2006?
graduating summa cum laude

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
none

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 what would it be?
back on vacation; i'd let him in the first time he knocked.

40) What are your plans for 2007?
begin a master's program, upgrade my home, plan my wedding :)

Gettin' Grown

It's almost November, yet I've been reflecting on my upcoming 30th birthday.  Remember the days when 30 seemed old AND oh so far away? I thought I'd share with you all some things I've learned on my journey:

I've learned that God is in control

I've learned that not everyone is a friend.

I've learned that as much as you want to help someone, you can't help them until they start to help themselves.

I've learned that it is OK to be alone.

I've learned that it is better to be alone than be in a situation that doesn't make you totally happy.

I've learned not to look for love in all the wrong places.

I've learned how to better detect those wrong places.

I've learned that not everyone is on your side.

I've learned that I am a very cynical person.

I've learned that for all my cynicism, I am still very naive (go figure).

I've learned that you may forgive someone, but you never really forget.

I've learned that what you expect from people is not what they will always give you.

I've learned that no job is more important than being a mom.

I've learned what looks like shit and smells like shit...really is shit.

I've learned that it takes a fool to learn that love don't love nobody.

I've learned that it is useless to cry over the actions of others.

I've learned that my heart doesn't always listen to my mind.

I've learned when to cut people out of my life.

I have not learned when or if it is safe to let them back in.

I've learned that it is OK if I never get married.

It is also OK if I never have another child.

I've learned that giving selflessly is the best feeling in the world.

I've learned that there are a lot of selfish people in the world.

There are also a gang of charlatans.

I know that I have learned more things, but I am gonna give it a break for now.

Lifted

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5 feet, 3 inches tall

2. Have you ever flown first-class?
Yup. Upgraded and had the nerve to fall asleep.

3. One of your favorite books when you were a child?
Katherine Patterson and Cynthia Voigt

4. A good restaurant in your city?
Acapulco's

5. What is your favorite small appliance?
My Irons (clothes and hair)

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
Am I laughing with them or AT them? Haha

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?
All I Want for Christmas is You - Mz. Carey

8. What was the first music that you ever bought?
Mary, Mary - Run DMC

9. Do you do push-ups?
Umm, will I is the real question

10. What was one of your favorite games as a child?
When I was forced to interact with other children, tag.

11.What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments?
lasagna, fried chicken

12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
the muhfuckin' president

13. Your favorite Soup of the Day?
vegetable

14. What in your life are you most grateful for?
my son

15. Have you ever met someone famous?
No one I was impressed with

16. Date Of Birth?
March 19shut yo' mouth!

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
a. I have to shit and I don't feel like going.
b. Did I renew my registration?
c. I want to go shopping.

18. Three people you're thinking about right now:
a. Chip and umm, can you think about three people at once?

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
pepsi, rum, orange juice, fruit punch and water

20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
fox 25 and verizon central

21. Current hair?
blown and flat ironed chin length bob.

22. Current worry?
nuffink

23. Current hate?
wack ass people and those who do not stay in their lane

24. Favorite place to be?
my bed

25. Least favorite place to be?
in traffic

26. Do you consider yourself well organized?
sure am

27. Do you believe in a afterlife?
no next lifetimes for me.

28. Where do you think you will be in 10 Yrs?
running the english dept, married with another child.

29. Do you burn or tan?
tan

30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with?
sorry, i'm kind of a big deal.

31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future?
optimistic

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
in a half hour. LOL

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Midnight Train to Georgia, Long Way to Go, Take Me As I Am, etc.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid?
not a damn thing

35. What’s in your pockets right now?
ummm, have you seen me in a pair of jeans?

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
My son "i don't feel like a shopping expedition now"

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
sorry, no character sheets for me.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
busted head

39. Favorite song?
No way I can narrow this down.... my favorites go back way back

40. How many TVs do you own?
four

41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them?
my son and chip.

42. Last person that made you blush?
No idea...

43. Best Compliment received?
I'm always complimented on my skin, intelligence and humor. Anything else is trite and lame.

44. What song is in your head?
Long Way to Go

45. What is your favorite book?
my library is legion...

46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex?
scampi

47. What songs do you want played at your wedding?
Good grief... well my first dance is Luther. After that it's whatever.


48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
His Eye is on the Sparrow

49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night?
Sleeping

50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life?
Add more fabulous children to the world, educate and empower young black women and grow old gracefully.

Blogtastic!

Happy Blogiversary to Me!

Well, not really.

I've actually been on TypePad for a year, but I started my little blogging empire on Blogger closer to 15 months ago. However stupid ass negros and stank ass chicks can fuck up any party. It's all good though. I'd like to thank all 10,000 odd people who have stopped by to read my ramblings, or just got here by googling themselves or other odd search engine combinations. (Yeah, TypePad is the bomb. They tell you who came, when they came, how long they stayed, where they came from and how they got here.) Anyway, I know y'all are coming through. Leave a comment. I don't bite. Hard.

I don't know how much longer I'll last. Much like with other things in my life, I lost the lust for blogging a while ago. I semi keep it up out of obligation. Don't worry though, I'll let you all know when Phoenix has sung her last song. Til then...

And Another One

Of course, the hottest chick reading would find a meme related to books. Enjoy.

1. A book that changed your life. Yesterday, I Cried: Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant. I read this book a long time ago and it made me aspire to reach a point where I was at peace in my life.

2. A book you've read more than once. The Kadin and Love, Wild and Fair - Bertrice Small. I am a diehard romance novel fan. And I am unapologetic about it as well. These are the first two novels written by Bertrice Small and they are absolutely amazing in their detail and are steeped in history.

3. A book you'd want on a desert island. Anything by Jennifer Weiner of Phillipa Gregory.

4. A book that made you giddy. All my romance novels make me giddy!

5. A book that you wish had been written. I haven't found anything yet that isn't in a book.

6. A book that wracked you with sobs. What doesn't wrack me with sobs?!

7. A book you wish had never been written. These new ghetto books. They have many authors and a cult following. They saying used to be get the kids reading no matter what they read, but these books are right next to myspace on the list of things I abhor.

8. A book you are currently reading.  A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers

9. A book you've been meaning to read. Love - Toni Morrison

10. Tag 10. Hey, do y'all.

Of course, the hottest chick reading would find a meme related to books. Enjoy.

1. A book that changed your life. Yesterday, I Cried: Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant. I read this book a long time ago and it made me aspire to reach a point where I was at peace in my life.

2. A book you've read more than once. The Kadin and Love, Wild and Fair - Bertrice Small. I am a diehard romance novel fan. And I am unapologetic about it as well. These are the first two novels written by Bertrice Small and they are absolutely amazing in their detail and are steeped in history.

3. A book you'd want on a desert island. Anything by Jennifer Weiner of Phillipa Gregory.

4. A book that made you giddy. All my romance novels make me giddy!

5. A book that you wish had been written. I haven't found anything yet that isn't in a book.

6. A book that wracked you with sobs. What doesn't wrack me with sobs?!

7. A book you wish had never been written. These new ghetto books. They have many authors and a cult following. They saying used to be get the kids reading no matter what they read, but these books are right next to myspace on the list of things I abhor.

8. A book you are currently reading.  A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers

9. A book you've been meaning to read. Love - Toni Morrison

10. Tag 10. Hey, do y'all.

My Soul... If Y'all Really Care

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Meme...for You and You and You!

1. If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be?
Writing the Great African-American Novel... and teaching the kids.

2. If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be?
George W. Bush. fucking moron.

3. What's the dumbest decision you've made in the past 5 years?                                                                                             
Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back now, there is nothing that I'd really say was dumb.

4. Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music.
Music, sheeeiiiit.

5. Dudes, would you rather have a big dick or a great sense of humor?Ladies, nice tits & azz or common sense?
Thank the Almighty that I don't have to choose!

6. So you've been invited to an all expense paid Blogger Prom in The Bahamas. You're sitting at the bar on the beach. Which blogger do you want to join you for hours of good convo?
Panama Jackson, Humanity Critic, Crunk and Disorderly, and the Ladies of Go Fug Yourselves

7. Which blogger would you most like to cuddle with on the beach?
He knows who he is cuz we just came back from cuddling (the tame word) on the beach.

8. You're going on a 5 hour road trip...which 5 CDs do you bring?
My iPod.

9. Would you rather bury your children young or have your children bury you young?
What an utterly depressing thought. Neither, if I could have it, because I certainly don't want to live without my son and I don't want to leave him in this world without my protection.

10. What's your biggest insecurity?
My weight

11.What's the first blog you read every day...or however often you read them?
PS's and then the gossip blogs.

12. When's the last time you peed your pants?
Hmmm, well I was super drunk when I left my best friend's wedding and peed a little on my bridesmaid's gown before hitting the toilet. But i only think that was because of the layers of chiffon, i couldn't find my damn draws to pull them down in time.

13. Which was better, your first kiss or your first pay check?
Check. I have no idea who was the recipient of my first kiss. I think his name was Tyrone. And Tyrone is the first name on my list of Negroes with Shady Names.

14. Do you have kids? Want kids?
Yes. Not sure if I want more.

15. You get dropped off at home after the office holiday party by your bitch azz boss that you can't effing stand...you exit the car and he peels out, runs a red light at your corner and rolls up an unsuspecting midget. The next day the midget watch groups are on TV outraged at the heartless hit and run, and are calling for any witnesses to please come fwd...that half dead midget has a family at home waiting on C-mas presents. Would you take $1000 hush money? $500? $100? A six pack?Six pack of what, Corona Lights??
Bye, bye Kimmy.

16. Live the rest of your life without your eyebrows or your fingernails?                   Eyebrows. Can you say bangs?

17. What makes you angry?
Liars; people that underestimate me; slick ass men; deluded ass women; bad ass kids; when Irie is out of plaintains.

18. What makes you horny?
None of your damn business.

19. What makes you nervous?
Bills; airplane travel

20. What makes you smile?
my son; compliments; thinking about my accomplishments; good friends

My Favorite Things Part II

Clinique Colour Surge Lip Lacquer Super shiny, non tacky gloss. Comes in a nice pot with an applicator brush. I love New Rain and Sultry Splash.

Aveeno Positively Radiant Skincare - i don't have problem skin, so I tend to vacillate between skincare lines. Right now, I love the positively radiant line. The daily cleansing pads are convenient and easy to use. The moisturizer is great for the day. It has a great, fresh smell. I'll probably switch back to Oil of Olay soon.

Nivea Night Creme - I'm scared of wrinkles, so I slather this on my face nightly in the hopes that it will keep the wrinkles at bay. Also, the Renewal Night Creme is a rich treat after the nighttime bath or shower. And I keep a purse sized Nivea Soft or Nivea Creme in my purse, desk drawer and car.

MAC Eyeshadow - I'm a cocoa krispie girl, so Amber Lights and Tempting keeps me hot to death (whenever I'm not being lazy and actually apply it!)

iTunes - PS made my valentine's day by getting me a 30 gb video iPod. I STAY on itunes subscribing to podcasts, buying tv shows and obscure songs. i've become an iPod elite, a snob... and i like it!

Coach - I love bags. I recently got my new baby as a graduation gift to myself. Hands down, I love this bag. My friend Maria is so over Coach. I am over their signature series, but you cannot beat Coach for an all leather bag. It just ain't happening.

Feelin' So Good

Jenny from the Block is not one of my favorite vocalists by any stretch of the imagination. However, I do have to admit that Feelin' So Good from her debut album On the 6 is one of my all time favorite feel good songs. I love the lyrics, the meaning, the guest appearances by Joey Crack and Big Pun (RIP). I love the fact that she isn't even sure of her vocal performance, her ad libs are shitty, but the song still shines. Recently, i purchased the single from itunes because my gay brother took his cd back. So with the sun shining or the rain pouring, i've been bumping this track-- loving me, loving life and living well. A colleague once told me that she felt that women really didn't become comfortable with themselves til about their 30's. I think I'm coming into mine now. I'm cognizant that only I am responsible for my happiness. I've reached a place where I am content with my looks (except for a few pesky pounds). I'm where I want to be careerwise. I'm all about the home improvements. I'm getting back to church. My child is blossoming, grower bigger and brighter by the day. My friends are true. What more could a girl want? Holla.

When I opened up my eyes today
Felt the sun shining on my face
It became so clear to me
That everything is going my way
I feel like there's no limit to what I can see
Got rid of my fears that were holding me
My endless possibilities
Has the whole world opened up for me
That's why I'm feeling...

I'm feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should, cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world's gonna turn me around

Now the day is turning into night
And everything is still going right
There's no way you can stop me this time
Or break this spirit of mine, oh no
Like the stars above I'm gonna shine
Anything I want will be mine
Tonight I'm gonna have a good time
Call a few friends of mine
Cause I'm loving life, and tonight's for feeling...